The Messed Up Series!
by Aurora the Enchantress
Summary: The first three chapters of my Messed Up series! PG for some kissing. My first fanfic(s), I was a bit sugar-high when writing them. hehe. please r/r. thanx!
1. A Messed Up Story by Me!

A Messed Up Story by Me!  
(Aurora the Enchantress)  
  
Me: One day Hermione was walking through Diagon Alley.  
  
The-Wise-Person-From-Above: That's no way to start a story!!  
  
Me: *indignant* And just why not?!  
  
TWPFA: Because it's boring, that's why.  
  
Me: Well, ok, if you think it's so boring, how about I try again?  
  
TWPFA: That would work.  
  
Me: *clears throat* One day, beautiful Muggle-born Hermione was walking -no, promenading through the er, wonderful place known as Diagon Alley! *is proud of herself*  
  
TWPFA: Um, no.  
  
Me: *wails* Why not?!!  
  
TWPFA: Well, it's still boring!  
  
Me: Grrr...  
  
Me: ok, fine. Once upon a fine summer's day, in the year of 1995 AD, a stunningly gorgeous Muggle-born er, young woman named Hermione was um, taking a leisurely stroll down the busy streets of Diagon Alley! *beams proudly* I did it! I wrote a descriptive sentence!!  
  
TWPFA: Well I hafta give ya some credit for that one...  
  
Me: *throws arms around TWPFA* Oh thank you! *happy tears* I give you my award of helpfulness!  
  
(Older and younger sisters walk in)  
  
Serena: Whaddya doin'? Who's that? He's kinda cute...  
  
Marian: Ooh, it's The-Wise-Person-From-Above! *asks for his autograph*  
  
(Hermione, Harry, Ron, Draco, and Professor Snape appear)  
  
Professor Snape: Just what is going on here? Ten points from Gryffindor!  
  
Harry: Hi Aurora!  
  
Me: *blush*  
  
Draco: I saw her first! *lunges at Harry*  
  
(they fight)  
  
Professor Snape: Get him, Draco! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!  
  
Ron: Hey dudes, quit it!  
  
Me: Hey! You're gonna mess up my embroidered pillows!  
  
Embroidered Pillows: *get tossed across the room*  
  
Hermione: *staring off into space* *jumps*  
  
Hermione: Ooh, is it really you?  
  
Me: Of course! I am the famous Aurora! Would you like my autograph?  
  
Hermione: *runs over to TWPFA* Can I have your autograph?  
  
Me: Grr....  
  
TWPFA: Oh of course. *signs a piece of parchment*  
  
(Meanwhile Harry, Draco, and Ron are fighting.)  
  
Crystal Lamp: *gets knocked over*  
  
Me: Oh Nooo!  
  
Hermione: Oh, no problem. *picks up her wand to repair the lamp*  
  
Marian: Ooh, what's that?  
  
Serena: *is chasing Ron around the room*  
  
Hermione: It's a wand. Twelve inches long, beechwood, with a unicorn's tail hair.  
  
Marian: Neat! Can I play with it?!  
  
Hermione: *looks contemplative* Well, ok! *hands her the wand*  
  
Marian: *waves wand around* Hocus Pocus!   
  
TWPFA: *flies across the room upside down* *yells cuss words*  
  
Marian: Cool!  
  
Hermione: How'd that happen? That wasn't even a spell!  
  
Professor Snape: *snicker*  
  
Serena: *is trying to kiss Ron*  
  
Hermione: Hey, lay off Ron!  
  
Serena: *is still trying to kiss Ron*  
  
Harry: *beating up Draco*  
  
Draco: *getting beat up*  
  
Ron: *is being kissed* Quit it, dudette!  
  
Serena: *giggles*  
  
Marian: Hey, Aurora, what's another word?  
  
Me: What about Lotus Pool Bar?  
  
Marian: *waves wand* Lotus Pool Bar!  
  
Professor Snape: *flies through the air upside down* *yells cuss words* Ten points from Gryffindor!!  
  
Hermione: *snicker*  
  
Harry: *is being thrown out the window*  
  
Draco: *is throwing Harry out the window*  
  
Serena: *stops kissing Ron and looks over* Hey can I try that thing?  
  
Marian: *giggles* Sure! *throws her the wand*  
  
Ron: *whew* I'm outta here! *disapparates*  
  
Serena: *pouts* Where'd my ickle Ronniekins go? *waves the wand* Waterproof Funnoodle!  
  
Hermione: *looks skeptical*  
  
Harry: *flies back through the window unharmed*   
  
Ron: *appears*  
  
Ron: HEY! Who did that?!  
  
Harry: Thanks, Serena!  
  
Serena: *blush*  
  
Ron: *scowls* Oh well. Might as well stay here. *sighs*  
  
Hermione: Ok, that's enough!! *grabs wand from Serena*  
  
Serena: *pouts*  
  
Draco: Hey! How'd you get back up here, Harry?   
  
TWPFA: He flew! He has powers beyond my greatest dreams!! *grovels before Harry* *kisses his shoes*  
  
Harry: *looks revolted*  
  
Hermione: *repairs crystal lamp*  
  
Marian: Hey Harry, can I have your autograph?  
  
Harry: *blushes* Ok... *signs autograph*  
  
Draco: Hey Aurora, can I have your autograph?  
  
Me: *blush* Sure. *signs autograph in pretty sparkly gel pen!!*  
  
Draco: Thanx.   
  
Me: No problem. *blush*  
  
Hermione: Isn't this story supposed to be about me?  
  
Me: Yeah, now that I think of it, it IS supposed to be about you!  
  
Hermione: Oh, ok. Then how about we start the story?  
  
All: Er....  
  
Hermione: *humph!*  
  
Serena: *smiles enchantingly* Hey Professor Snape, can I have your autograph?  
  
Prof. Snape: *looks flattered* Of course. *signs autograph*  
  
TWPFA: Hey! Does no one want my autograph!?  
  
All: NO.  
  
TWPFA: *insulted* Ok then, I'm leaving!! *makes rude sign at everyone* *Disapparates*  
  
All: Thank you Lord.  
  
Harry: *hooks arms with Marian* Who's up for a trip to the Three Broomsticks?  
  
Marian: *giggles* *blushes*  
  
Draco: *looks toward Aurora* Sure... *grins*   
  
Me: *blush*  
  
(Aurora and Draco walk off together)  
  
(Harry and Marian follow)  
  
Serena: *giggles*  
  
Professor Snape: *offers his arm to Serena* You can call me Severus.  
  
Serena: *smiles enchantingly again* Ok...  
  
(Severus and Serena walk off together)  
  
Hermione: *turns toward Ron* Does that give you any ideas?  
  
Ron: *puzzled* No, why?  
  
Hermione: Ron!!  
  
Ron: *grins* Just kidding! *kisses Hermione*  
  
Hermione: *blushes* *giggles*  
  
(Walk off together after the three other couples)  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Well I was feeling really screwed up when I wrote this, hee hee! But it's the first fanfic I've ever finished! *is proud of herself*   
  
Disclaimer: All those dudes out there who wanna sue me, hear this: I own myself, my embroidered pillows, and my crystal lamp. My sisters own themselves. The Wise Person From Above owns himself. Hermione owns her wand. Harry owns his shoes. J.K. Rowling owns the wonderful characters Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, and Professor Snape. Thank you.  
  
Peace,  
Aurora  



	2. A(nother) Messed Up Story by Me!

A(nother) Messed Up Story by Me!  
(Aurora the Enchantress)  
  
A/N: This is a sequel to my other messed up story, A Messed Up Story By Me! You may not totally understand this if you have not read the first one!!  
  
~*~  
  
Me: Hellllooo! I'm back!  
  
Audience: *groan*  
  
Me: *indignant* Who asked you?  
  
*sighs and hands out bags of marshmallows to everyone in sight*  
  
Me: *giggle* Time to play Marshmallow Mania!!  
  
(Older and younger sisters walk in my room)  
  
Serena: What exactly are you doing?  
  
*Strangeness of my twisted mind is revealed as the camera focuses in on a bunch of stuffed animals and marshmallows strewn around the room*  
  
Me: er, uh... hehe.  
  
(Suddenly Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Ginny, Professor Snape, and Professor McGonagall appear)  
  
Me: Oh, goody! More contestants for my wonderful game Marshmallow Mania!  
  
Hermione: I've got a bad feeling about this....  
  
Ron: Kewl, dudette! What's happening here?  
  
Harry: How do you play?  
  
Ginny: *little angel smile* Can I be partners with Harry?  
  
Marian: Hey! I was gonna be with Harry!  
  
Ginny: *glares* Who asked you?!  
  
*start throwing things at eachother*  
  
Me: Hey! Be careful with that, that's my china- eeeee!  
  
China Tea Set: *shatters against the wall*  
  
Me: Noooo!  
  
Professor Snape: 20 points from Gryffindor!  
  
Professor McGonagall: Hey! You can't do that! 30 points from Slytherin!  
  
Draco: That's not right! Do something, Professor Snape!  
  
Professor Snape: Ok, 50 points from Gryffindor!  
  
Professor McGonagall: Fine, if you want it that way, 100 points from Slytherin!  
  
Snape: 500 points!  
  
McGonagall: 1,000 points!  
  
Snape: 10,000 points!   
  
Harry: That's not fair!  
  
McGonagall: *this is getting ridiculous* 1,000,000 points from Slytherin!!  
  
Draco: That's not fair!  
  
(Harry attacks Professor Snape)  
  
Ron: Dude! Get him!  
  
*joins the fight*  
  
Me: Stop! You'll mess up my CD player!  
  
Ron: What's a CD player?!  
  
CD Player: *gets tossed out of the window*  
  
Me: *groan* Not again!  
  
Draco: You idiots! *lunges at Harry's throat*  
  
Harry: *sidesteps*  
  
Draco: *crashes into crystal lamp*  
  
Me: Not my crystal lamp again!  
  
Crystal Lamp: *slow mo* *falling*... *shatters*  
  
Me: Nooo!  
  
Meanwhile..........  
  
Ginny: How dare you!? Harry is mine!  
  
Marian: Then why did he go with me to the Three Broomsticks just the other night? Huh?!  
  
Ginny: I was sick with tydrophema!  
  
Marian: That isn't even a sickness!!  
  
*shoot death glares at each other*  
  
Hermione: *exasperated* Will you guys stop it? You're being ridiculous!! .... Harry is MINE!!  
  
Professor McGonagall: *fights her way over to them* Will you girls stop it and help me here?!  
  
All: Sorry, but NO.  
  
***back to the other mode***  
  
Draco: *knocked senseless*  
  
Me: *torn between love for Draco and my crystal lamp*  
  
Serena: Someone help Severus!!!!!  
  
*POOF* *BANG* *BOOM*  
  
*Doors fly open, window shutters bang, a flash of lightning and roll of thunder!*  
  
*dun dun dun....*  
  
The-Wise-Person-From-Above: I'M BAAAAACK!!  
  
All: NOOOO!  
  
Serena: Oh please, Wise Person from Above, help Severus! *makes an elaborate bow*  
  
TWPFA: *grin* OK! Someone lend me a wand!  
  
Serena: *Grabs Hermione's wand*  
  
Hermione: Hey! What's the big idea!?  
  
Serena: *throws wand to TWPFA*  
  
TWPFA: Ok, how does that spell go? Oh, yeah! Soda Ash!  
  
*BOOM* *Flash of light*  
  
Hermione: uh oh....  
  
Serena: Oh no! What happened?!  
  
Professor Snape: *happy smile* *skips out of the room*  
  
All: ??  
  
Hermione: Forgive me for asking, but what exactly was that supposed to be?  
  
TWPFA: Er, I think I should be going now!! *disapparates*  
  
Harry: Where in Voldemort's name did he go?  
  
Ron: *shrug* Who knows?  
  
Hermione: *grabs her wand* *tries to hex Marian and Ginny*  
  
Ginny: *dodges the spell* *runs over to Harry* *hangs onto one arm* Will you be my partner in the game?  
  
Harry: What game?  
  
Marian: *grabs Harry's other arm* Oh, no you don't! He's mine!  
  
Ginny: No, he's mine!  
  
Marian: Mine!   
  
Ginny: MINE!  
  
Hermione: Quit it! He's MINE!  
  
Ron: ?!?! Hermione!  
  
Hermione: Yes? Do you have a problem, Ron?  
  
Ron: *glare*  
  
Professor McGonagall: Ok, enough of this! Or I'll take points from any house I can!  
  
Draco: *suddenly wakes up* *dazed* What happened?  
  
Me: Oh my poor Draco! *flings arms around him*  
  
All: *look revolted*  
  
Ginny: Mine!  
  
Marian: MINE!  
  
Harry: Stop!  
  
Ron: Yeah, dudettes, cut the 'mine' stuff! And Hermione, you'd just better have a good explanation!  
  
Professor McGonagall: I must say you all are acting so childish- *mouth drops open in horror* *points shakily to the opening door*  
  
(Door opens. In skips Professor Snape. He is wearing Marian's frilly white flower girl dress and carrying a basket full of flower petals.)  
  
Professor Snape: *begins singing* Here comes the bride! *throws flowers in everyone's face* All fat and wide! *dumps basket of flowers over Harry's head* *giggles* *skips out*  
  
Serena: ?!?! What did that numbskull do?! That's it! Give me that wand! *grabs Hermione's wand* What was that stupid spell? Oh, waterproof funnoodle!  
  
TWPFA: *appears* ........ How did you do that?! You possess powers beyond the far galaxies! *kisses Serena's shoes*  
  
Serena: *whacks him over the head with Hermione's wand* What did you do to my precious baby?!  
  
TWPFA: ??.... Oh, you must mean that dude I cast my most powerful spell on!  
  
Serena: MOST POWERFUL SPELL?!  
  
TWPFA: Yes, er, *heh heh* It makes you smarter!  
  
Hermione: Forgive me for saying so, but isn't that spell Ash Soda and not Soda Ash?  
  
TWPFA: *smacks forehead with hand* Whoops! Uh, some little mistake there. How bad could it be, though?.............  
  
(Snape skips back in with more flowers, a bonnet on his head, and his hair in pigtails.)  
  
Professor Snape: *to Serena* *high, girlish voice* Don't I look pretty, Mommy?  
  
Serena: *looks horrified*  
  
Professor Snape: *singing again* Here comes the groom! *throws flowers on Serena* Skinny as a broom! *dumps flowers on TWPFA*  
  
Ron and Harry: *start cracking up*  
  
Professor Snape: Let's play wedding! *giggle*  
  
Serena: *to TWPFA* See what you've done?! *picks up an embroidered pillow*  
  
Embroidered Pillow: *hits TWPFA in the face*  
  
Serena: Now fix him!  
  
TWPFA: *snicker*  
  
Serena: I mean it! *grabs the wand* *points it at TWPFA* Lotus Pool B-  
  
TWPFA: Ok, ok! I'll fix it! *snatches Hermione's wand back*  
  
Hermione: Hey, be careful with that!  
  
TWPFA: Kool Operator!  
  
(A blinding flash of light hits Professor Snape)  
  
Professor Snape: *begins singing and skipping around the room* Have you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, have you seen the-  
  
TWPFA: Whoops! Wrong spell! Lessee here..... Oh, yes, Hasbro Interactive!  
  
(Professor Snape is surrounded in white mist that quickly disappears)  
  
TWPFA: There, I did it! *is proud of himself*  
  
Professor Snape: *flies through the air upside down* *giggles*  
  
All: *glare at TWPFA*  
  
TWPFA: Some er, technical difficulties here! Lemme think........ I've got it this time! Game Boy Printer!  
  
(Professor Snape is hit by a lightning looking thing. [A/N: Ain't I creative?] He falls to the floor, screaming with apparent agony.)  
  
Hermione: You stupid nitwit, you've just preformed the Forbidden Laughing Curse!  
  
TWPFA: Uh oh......  
  
Hermione: *grabs the wand* Pickle Relish!  
  
(White light hits Professor Snape)  
  
Professor Snape: *stops laughing* *dazed* *looks down at himself* WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DARK LORD AM I WEARING!?!  
  
All: *crack up*  
  
Professor Snape: *turns red* *runs out of the room to go change*  
  
(Suddenly a white owl swoops into the window and drops a letter on TWPFA's head.)  
  
Ginny: Ooh, read it!  
  
TWPFA: *opens letter and reads it out loud*  
  
Dear Miss Aurora,   
  
We of the Improper Use of Magic Office have been   
enlightened that the Forbidden Game Boy Printer (Laughing)   
curse was used at your place of residence at sixteen   
minutes to three. As you know, this curse is forbidden.   
That's why it's called the FORBIDDEN laughing game   
boy printer curse. The individual who preformed it is due   
for questions at the Ministry of Magic. We would highly   
suggest that he gets a move on as we have more important   
things to do.   
  
Yours Sincerely,  
  
Candelaria Cavanaugh  
Improper Use of Magic Office  
Ministry of Magic  
  
TWPFA: Uh oh, that's the third time this week I've been up there! ..... help?! *disapparates*  
  
All: *loud cheers and applause*  
  
(Marian and Ginny start dancing together while Serena and Professor McGonagall jump around the room. Hermione and I burst into happy tears and Harry, Draco, and Ron set off some of Filibuster's No-Heat, Wet-Start Fireworks.)  
  
Professor Snape: *walks back in in normal clothes* Er.....  
  
Serena: The-Wise-Person-From-Above is gone, Severus!  
  
Professor Snape: *starts dancing wildly*  
  
Me: Now that we're all happy, how about a game of Marshmallow Mania? There are no partners, we're all in this together!  
  
All: Sure!  
  
Marian: *to Ginny* Sorry about the whole thing with Harry.  
  
Ginny: Oh, my fault entirely!  
  
*Are now best friends*  
  
Hermione: *flings her arms around Ron* I'm so sorry, will you ever forgive me?  
  
Ron: *laughs* Of course!  
  
*live happily ever after.... Or do they? Find out in the next fic......*  
  
Professor Snape: *proposes to Serena with a big diamond ring*  
  
Serena: Yes!  
  
*uh, they kiss?........*  
  
Draco: Hey Aurora, I'm really sorry about your crystal lamp.  
  
Aurora: That's ok! I'd much rather have you than any old crystal lamp!  
  
*Aww.....hehe*  
  
Harry: *pretends to gag*  
  
Ginny and Marian: *giggle*  
  
Professor McGonagall: So when are we gonna start this Marshmallow Mania game?  
  
Me: Maybe in the next fic!!!  
  
~*~END  
  
Disclaimer: I own my CD player (thank you very much!), my broken crystal lamp, my embroidered pillows, my marshmallows, my room, and my cute stuffed animals! Marian owns herself. Serena owns her shoes, her engagement ring, and herself. Actually, maybe Prof. Snape owns Serena now? No, maybe not...... hee hee. TWPFA owns himself and as far as I'm concerned, he can keep it that way. Hermione owns her wand. The wonderful J.K. Rowling owns all the HP characters mentioned in this fic: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco (wish I owned him but I don't!), Ginny, Professor Snape, Voldemort (yes, he was mentioned), and Professor McGonagall. I don't know who owns Candelaria Cavanaugh, but I own her name.   
  
A/N: So, didya like it? Hee hee... I am doing a series of these messed up thingys! And yes, there will be another one! **hears groans** Hey! Oh well. Thank you majorly to all the wonderful peeps who reviewed my last story as of today:  
  
RonWeasleyFan, Hannah, Crazy Poet, Funny, aliveandkicking, Ferret w/ a Fez (thanx for the fez definition!), Sanna (Love your D/H fics!), Lady Kendall (award for the cutest Gundam fics!), Katie, Billy Jr. the 4th, Lily, and Peanut B.!! Love you all, you're great!  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed my original fic, The Crystal Empowerment: Chapter One. I will not list them here but you know who you are, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. ^_^  
  
Well that was the longest Author's Note I've written in a while. Heh heh.   
  
Peace to all you peoples who took the time to read that!  
  
Aurora  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Messed Up Marshmallow Mania

A/N: I'm baaaaaaack! After having writer's block for about a month, I decided to write the next story in my Messed Up series. Ok, first I would like to thank one of my fans, Izzy, who actually emailed me to tell me that she liked my Messed Up fics. ^_^ Thank you! I'd also like to thank all those wonderful people who reviewed my story with a plot, Dancing in the Rain. I think that I will list them all in the Author's Note for my next 'fic with a plot'. ok, I'm done rambling! Enjoy the fic!  
  
~*~  
  
Messed Up Marshmallow Mania  
  
By Aurora the Enchantress  
  
***  
*The setting (dun dun dun...): My bedroom  
*The characters: too many to list this time!  
*What happened last time: We started a game of Marshmallow Mania. Prof. Snape proposed to Serena (my older sister). She said yes (Oh boy...) (But they're not married yet...) uh, Ron and Hermione had some problems. Ginny and Marion fought over Harry. Draco broke my crystal lamp again. Oh, and The Wise Person From Above messed with Hermione's wand, wreaking havoc all around the room!  
***  
  
Me: All right! *grins happily* Time to play Messed Up Marshmallow Mania!!  
  
All (Serena, Marian, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Draco, Prof. McGonagall, Prof. Snape): *cheer*  
  
Me: Ok, now this is how you play! First, you must follow all safety procedures and take great precautions. *clears throat* *takes out a very thick instruction manual and begins to read*  
  
"All persons not otherwise entitled to playing this game, are therefore, not entitled to playing this game, which means, of course, that they are not entitled to play this game, which implies that all children under the age of 18 may be severely warned of procedures which might otherwise be known as normal. All adults over the age of 18 may be strictly prohibited to show any signs of exasperation, fatigue, or boredom with the extreme dangerousness of this procedure, meaning, of course, that the persons not entitled to playing this game, are therefore, not entitled to playing this game, which means, of course, that they are not entitled to play this game, which implies that these persons may very well be you..."  
  
*takes a deep breath*  
  
All: Stop! Please, please stop!!  
  
Me: *giggle* ok. Now, this is how you actually play. First, you get sugar-drunk on marshmallows...  
  
Marian: Marshmallows!! Where?!  
  
Me: Hidden in my closet and under my bed, of course!! But don't-  
  
*too late*  
  
Marian: *opens closet door* *cascade of giant jet puffed marshmallow bags*  
  
Me: Argh! I told you not to-  
  
Everyone except me: *grabs marshmallow bag*  
  
Harry: *stuffs five marshmallows into his mouth*  
  
Me: Hey!!! You don't even know how to play yet!  
  
About 50 marshmallows: *fly towards Aurora's head*  
  
Me: *tries to catch some*  
  
Prof. Snape: *feeding marshmallows to Serena*  
  
All: *look revolted*  
  
Ron: *throws marshmallows at Hermione*  
  
Ginny: *tosses some at Marian*  
  
Marian: *giggle* *throws marshmallows at Ginny and Harry*  
  
Hermione: *opens a bag and throws marshmallows around the room*  
  
Harry and Ron: *laughing insanely*  
  
Prof. McGonagall: *takes a whole bag and throws it at Draco, who is currently stuffing his face*  
  
Draco: *dumps the bag over Aurora's head* *flings the wrapper and some marshmallows at Serena and Prof. Snape*   
  
Marshmallows and wrapper: *hit crystal lamp*  
  
Crystal Lamp: *falls and shatters*  
  
Me: *hits forehead with hand* NOT AGAIN!  
  
Hermione: No problem. *grabs wand* what was that spell again? Oh, "Candy Bar Substitutes!"  
  
Crystal Lamp: *turns into a giant marshmallow*  
  
Hermione: *hehe* whoops...  
  
***Suddenly.... BOOM!***  
  
*The Giant Cactus Lookin Dude appears*  
  
TGCLD: *high, squeaky voice* Marshmallows!!  
  
Me: And just WHO are you?  
  
TGCLD: I'm the Giant Cactus Lookin Dude!  
  
All: ok....  
  
Me: Are you from Digimon or something?  
  
TGCLD: *scratches head* Wuz Digimon?  
  
Me: It's kinda like, uh, Pokemon!! [A/N: ok, all you Pokemon lovers, don't review telling me "Digimon is NOTHING like Pokemon! And Digimon lovers, vice versa. For all I know, they ARE somewhat alike!]  
  
All: What's Pokemon?  
  
Me: *sigh* *runs and gets gameboy* *shows everyone the Pokemon cartridge* See?  
  
All: Oh.  
  
TGCLD: *grabs marshmallows* *stuffs them into his mouth* You know what? I saw something really weird earlier today. I think it was a type of bird.  
  
All: ??  
  
Me: Really. *sarcastic* Tell us about it.  
  
TGCLD: Well, it had feathers.  
  
Hermione: How descriptive. *rolls eyes*  
  
TGCLD: hmm... Oh, and it made a sound like this! COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Window: *breaks*  
  
All: *cover ears*  
  
TGCLD: *yelling at the top of his lungs* OH, AND GUESS WHAT?!!  
  
Me: *small voice* what?  
  
TGCLD: I found something really cool! It's... *reaches into pocket* THIS!! *pulls out a piece of baloney and cheese sandwich* I think it's an ancient artifact from Mesopotamia!!  
  
Serena: It's a smelly piece of sandwich, you moron.  
  
TGCLD: Wuz a sandwich?  
  
Serena: OH, THE THINGS I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH!! *pushes TGCLD out the door* Byyyye!  
  
TGCLD: *disappears*  
  
Ron: *snicker*  
  
Harry: *snicker*  
  
Ron and Harry: *crack up*  
  
Hermione: Ok, what's going on? You guys didn't invite him here, did you?  
  
Ron and Harry: *laughing too hard to reply*  
  
Me: Oh! You found out how to play the game!! Great work, dudes!  
  
All except Me, Harry, and Ron: ??  
  
Me: Well, let me explain. They got sugar-drunk on marshmallows, and then thought of something really stupid happening. Then, it happened!!  
  
All: Oh... cool!  
  
Marian: *closes eyes*  
  
*BOOM* *The Fluffy Pink Love Bunny appears*  
  
TFPLB: *singing* I love you, you love me, we're all happy as can be! With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too? *applauds for herself* *hugs Prof. Snape*  
  
Prof. Snape: *turns green* Get OFF me!!  
  
TFPLB: *starts singing again* Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop... *picks up Draco*  
  
Draco: Hey!! What the- !  
  
TFPLB: *still singing* When the wind blows, the cradle will rock... *rocks Draco*  
  
Draco: Cut it OUT!  
  
TFPLB: *STILL singing* When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall... *walks over to the window* And down will go baby, cradle and all! *drops Draco out the window*  
  
Me: Oh no! *grabs Hermione's wand* "Waterproof Funnoodle!!"  
  
Draco: *flies back through window unharmed* Whew! Thanks!  
  
Me: *blush* Don't mention it.  
  
TFPLB: *starts singing again* I knew I loved you, before I met you...  
  
Me: ok, Savage Garden's much better than Barney...  
  
TFPLB: *still singing* I think I'm pink, and I'm a guy!!!  
  
Me: Those aren't the right words!!  
  
TFPLB: *singing* I knew I loved you before I met you! *hugs Harry* SOMEDAY I THINK I'LL LEARN TO FLYYYYY!!!  
  
Marian: *snicker*  
  
TFPLB: *humming the tune loudly*  
  
Me: Now that is just stupid.  
  
Hermione: *covering ears* MAKE THAT STUPID RABBIT SHUT UP!!  
  
Ron: *grabs embroidered pillow*  
  
Embroidered Pillow: *hits TFPLB in the face*  
  
TFPLB: *lip quivers* *bursts into tears* Everyone HATES me!! *disappears*   
  
Serena: *hands on hips* Now whose stupid creation was that?!  
  
Marian: *cracks up*  
  
All: *sigh*  
  
Prof. McGonagall: Ok, I'm outta here. *disapparates*  
  
Prof. Snape and Serena: *sneak out of the room*  
  
Me: Great! No adults!!  
  
All that are left (Ginny, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Marian, and Harry): *cheer*  
  
*The Great Pencil of Doom appears*  
  
*scary music starts playing*  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, MORTALS!  
  
*The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts appears*  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit.  
  
*The Rotten Cheese of Eternity appears*  
  
The Rotten Cheese of Eternity: *does nothing*  
  
*The All-Powerful Spastic Fly appears*  
  
The All-Powerful Spastic Fly: *flies around the room happily*  
  
Me: All right! Now we have our messed up candidates! We're gonna hold a presidential election!   
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit. *eats The All-Powerful Spastic Fly*  
  
Draco: Oh NO! My candidate got eaten!!  
  
Hermione: *snicker*  
  
Ginny: *laughs* The All-Powerful Spastic Fly was yours, Draco?!  
  
Draco: *turns red*  
  
Me: Ok! Time for the election! *turns on microphone* *speaks into it* testing, testing...  
  
*Bright spotlights flash. Lights go down*  
  
Me: And I'm your host, Aurora! We have our three, er, candidates here! First, we have Mr. The Great Pencil of Doom! Next, there is Mr. The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts! And last, but not least, er, Mr. The Rotten Cheese of Eternity!  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: I want my momeeeeeeeee....  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit.  
  
The Rotten Cheese of Eternity: *does nothing*  
  
Marian: *cracks up*  
  
Me: *outraged* Go ahead and laugh! You'll see! This'll be the greatest presidential election ever!! Now, for the presidential speeches!!  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: *grabs microphone from Aurora* *begins singing* I'VE......... BEEN DREAMING.............. OF A WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE........ CHRRRRRRRRRRIIIIISTMASSSSSS............ Just like the ones I used to know!!!!!!  
  
Ginny: *slaps forehead with hand*  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: *grabs microphone* rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit. *does a tap dance*  
  
The Rotten Cheese of Eternity: *does nothing*  
  
Hermione: That cheese is annoying me.  
  
Me: *sweet voice* How so?  
  
Ron: Yeah, you're right. Just by being there, it's irritating. I say we kick it out of the election.  
  
Me: *sniff* Fine. See if I care.  
  
Harry: *kicks The Rotten Cheese of Eternity out the window*  
  
Me: ok.... We're down to the final candidates! Any last words before voting?  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: I want my momeeeeeeeeee.......  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit.  
  
Marian: Voting time!!  
  
************time passes*************  
  
Me: And the president of, er, uh, well, something, is... *opens folded paper*  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: Wait! I DEMAND a recount!  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit.  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom: I mean, I invented Harry Potter! And I invented Fan Fiction. Net!  
  
Me: You did not!  
  
The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribbit.  
  
Harry and Ron: *restrain The Great Pencil of Doom from strangling The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts*  
  
Me: *opens paper hurriedly* The winner is... *drumroll* The Wise Person From-WHAT??!!  
  
The Wise Person From Above: *appears* Thaaaaaat's Right!! I'm the winner of the election!  
  
All: *GROAN* Not you again!!  
  
TWPFA: *grabs Hermione's wand* I can solve all your problems!  
  
All: No, you can't! Believe us, you CAN'T!!  
  
TWPFA: Watch and learn. *waves wand through the air* "Systems Software!!"  
  
Prof. McGonagall: *flies into the room* "@$%#$!!" *waves her wand around angrily*  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom and The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: *throw arms around each other and start singing* Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, LITTLE LAMB!!!  
  
Marian: Wow! That was a spell?! *takes out her wand* "@$%#$!!"  
  
The Great Pencil of Doom and The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts: *fly out the window*  
  
Ginny: Cool! Let me try! *pulls out wand* "$^&*@$!!"  
  
Giant Marshmallow which was once a Crystal Lamp: *hits TWPFA in the face*  
  
TWPFA: HEY! *hehe* *waves wand around* "Encarta Encyclopedia 99!"  
  
Prof. Snape: *flies into the room wearing a white rabbit suit* *starts hopping around the room sniffing people's shoes*  
  
All (even McGonagall): *crack up*  
  
Prof. Snape: *hops out of the room*  
  
Ron: *face is turning red from laughing*  
  
Harry: *takes out wand* "Net Plus Software!!"  
  
*A bag of sugar appears*  
  
All: SUGAR!!!  
  
All: *eat sugar* *get hyper*  
  
Serena: *walks into the room, dragging Prof. Snape by one fake rabbit ear* WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON IN HERE?!  
  
Prof. Snape: *sniffs Serena's shoes*  
  
Serena: UGH!! *stomps over to Aurora* This is all YOUR fault!!  
  
Me: Here, have a marshmallow.  
  
Serena: *shrieks* *has a fit* You change him back!!  
  
Prof. Snape: *is gnawing on a marshmallow bag*  
  
Hermione: I think he wants some carrots. "Accio Carrots!"  
  
*carrots fly in through the window*  
  
Carrots: *hit Serena*  
  
Hermione: *hehe* whoops...  
  
TWPFA: I will change him back, noble lady!!  
  
Ginny: *cracking up*  
  
Draco: No, I will! *grabs TWPFA's wand* "Netscape Mail!!"  
  
Prof. Snape: *turns yellow with red polka-dots*  
  
Draco: Whoops! Wrong spell! You won't take any points off Slytherin, will you?  
  
Prof. Snape: *sniffs carrots* *eats carrots*  
  
Serena: *screeching* I DO NOT WANT A YELLOW AND RED RABBIT FOR A HUSBAND!!  
  
Harry and Ron: *rolling on the floor laughing*  
  
Me: *giggle* ok, ok! Marian, the secret ingredient, please!  
  
Marian: *takes out a silver gel pen* ready! *throws silver gel pen to Aurora*  
  
Aurora: *colors on Prof. Snape's rabbit ear* There! Now you have a yellow, red, AND silver rabbit! And he's only your fiancé!!  
  
Serena: *fuming* That's NOT what I meant!!  
  
Marian: *takes the wand from Draco* Here! I can do it! *points wand at Prof. Snape* "Hasbro Interactive!"  
  
Prof. Snape: *flies through the air upside down*  
  
TWPFA: Didn't I use that spell in the last fic? *scratches head*  
  
Marian: You're right, I think you did! I'll try again! *points wand around the room* "Sierra Attractions!"  
  
*marshmallows fly through the air and hit everyone in the face*  
  
Hermione: *takes wand from Marian* That's MY wand, I believe! "Rukujugn!!"  
  
All: ??  
  
*The Frog in Pink Boxer Shorts, The Rotten Cheese of Eternity, The All-Powerful Spastic Fly, The Great Pencil of Doom, The Fluffy Pink Love Bunny, and The Giant Cactus Lookin Dude appear*  
  
All: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Hermione: *hehe* "Kool Operator!!!"  
  
TFIPBS, TRCOE, TAPSF, TGPOD, TFPLB, and TGCLD: *begin singing and hopping around the room* have you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man, have you seen the muffin-  
  
All except Prof. Snape: *crack up*  
  
Prof. Snape: *sniffs TWPFA's shoes*  
  
Me: ok, this is getting TOO ridiculous!   
  
TFIPBS: rrrrrr-*disappears*  
  
TRCOE: *does nothing* *disappears*  
  
TAPSF: *disappears in midair*  
  
TGPOD: I want my-*disappears*  
  
TFPLB: *singing* I love you, you love me-*disappears*  
  
TGCLD: Let's play barbies-*disappears*  
  
The Wise Person From Above: *hehe* *attempts to sneak away*  
  
All except Prof. Snape: OH, NO YOU DON'T!!  
  
Hermione: *waves wand* "Interactive Instructions!!"  
  
TWPFA: YOU'LL PAAAAY...*disappears*  
  
All except Prof. Snape: *sigh of relief*  
  
Prof. Snape: *eats the last marshmallow* *sniffs Aurora's shoes*  
  
Serena: What are we going to do about my precious Severus?! *sniff*  
  
Ginny: *trying not to crack up* There's still some marshmallows, you know...  
  
All except Prof. Snape: *look around room, which is empty of marshmallows* Where?!  
  
Prof. Snape: *hops around the room*  
  
Me: Oh no....  
  
Marian: Under Aurora's bed!! *reaches under bed* *pulls out bags of giant jet-puffed marshmallows* *hands them out*  
  
Me: This is going to be a VERY long night...  
  
Harry: *tosses bag of marshmallows out the window* I never want to see another marshmallow again.  
  
All: Ditto. *toss bags out the window*  
  
Prof. McGonagall: *is laughing at Prof. Snape* *takes out her wand* "Logitech!"  
  
Prof. Snape: *bunny suit disappears* *stands up* Exactly what has been going on?  
  
All except Serena: *crack up*  
  
Serena: *hugs Prof. Snape* I'm so glad you're not a yellow, red, and silver rabbit!  
  
Prof. Snape: ??  
  
Serena: *drags Prof. Snape out of the room* We have to make wedding preparations!!!  
  
*****A few minutes later*****  
  
*An owl flies in the window* *drops a note on Ron's head*  
  
Ron: Dudes, look at this!   
  
Ginny: Read it!  
  
Ron: *clears throat*  
  
"You are invited to the wedding of Severus and Serena!!  
  
When: Noon, tomorrow  
Where: Hogwarts  
What to bring: Plenty of expensive presents  
What to wear: Formal Attire  
  
See you there!!"  
  
Harry and Ron: *devilish grins* hehe...  
  
Hermione and Ginny: Uh oh...  
  
Draco: "Accio Marshmallow Bags!" *marshmallow bags fly in through the window* I think we'll be needing these...  
  
All: *nod and grin evilly*  
  
Me: This is gonna be the most messed up wedding ever...  
  
*dun dun dun....*  
  
~*~END  
  
A/N: Ok, did you like it? My next fic, A Messed Up Marriage, should be posted soon, and it will probably be the most messed up fic yet!! Please review, but please, no flames. I burn easily. Thanks for reading!!  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, you lawyer people who have been following me around: Hear this!! I own myself, my Giant marshmallow that was once a crystal lamp, my room, the plot of this fic, and my instruction manual! My sisters Marian and Serena own themselves!! Serena also owns her engagement ring. Hermione owns her wand and her shoes. TWPFA, TFIPBS, TRCOE, TAPSF, TGPOD, TFPLB, and TGCLD own themselves, and I would like to keep it that way, thank you very much anyway. JK Rowling owns all the Harry Potter characters mentioned in this fic. I do not. Please do not sue me. I doubt my 50 cents left over from Christmas shopping would help you very much.  
  
Thanks for reading, time for reviewing!  
  
Peace, Aurora  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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